Happy New Year

Celebrating

wedding anniversary

and death of love

in yet another New Year...

adorcism

“Mine” 

The devil whispered the word

to her ears with conviction

The truth in the word 

reduced her to a trembling mess

of desire and passion

and she let the devil claim her forever...

Its said
failure is the greatest teacher
Love indeed is
my greatest teacher
showing me...

how weak, foolish,
vulnerable and all that..
I can be

for a few drops
of maddening love

household tips

a warm touch of love
and a connecting heart
is all it takes

to wash off
grimy todays
and greasy yesterdays
and leave sparkles

yea, a wee bit
ludicrous detergent idea though
for regular use in lives.

Extravaganza

of course i wish
you were with me
holding my hands
in my journey to myself

but it's a wish
not a need.
I can afford to let go
and move on.

an optometric therapy

Aw... my fantasy world
like a black and white movie...

you brought
the brightest colours
that blinded me.
it hurts to open my eyes now.

if I need to look at you again,
rip off those glaring rays
and carefully pick
just the soothing hues
and fill the screen for me

and..
I shall not ask for more

midnight nostalgia

Someone once said
the axe forgets
but the tree remembers

the tree in me remembers
the Love
that filled it cell by cell
to flower, fruit and then
let it to be cut.

there ought to be a tree
in you too
who remembers
those forlorn laughters

a fake hide n seek

and I keep hiding me from you
as much as from me.

you can never
take me the way I am
and I just cant be
the way you want it

I keep hiding me from you -
for I'm seeking your
infectiously raging love.

suicide

and slowly i tread
to wed death
with the burning desire
to be pulled back
to life
by love

the rising

I fell in love

and then had to
rise from the fall  -
to be desired, cherished
and celebrated.

expedition

and here I go
to traverse the distance
between
love and desire.

a long ropewalk indeed,
but worth it.
the journey more exciting
than the destination.

conjuring

glued to the walls
i stand waiting for you

to come closer,
lift my hands
lock fingers again
and breathe down my neck

to snatch from you
the unkissed kisses,
untouched touches
and collpase to your arms.

but as your fingers
and hands
move down
you may find

that Im my effigy
burnt below waist
interminably fuming..

Ghosts

however tight i close
the doors,
they creep in -

pouncing over
from the darkness
as I undress
for you

the ghosts -
with sweating hands
and hard dicks -
following from ages
fetter me

A devil from skies is 

waiting for me to jail break

and together we will kill them 
With love

baby

it was in your little lips
wet and sweet with my milk
that i ever saw
love in its purest form -
the only time when
my soul really needed
a body
to be.

the milky way

My love
left overnight
curdled

but its still worth
straining the water off
to try out a fresh recipe.

excuse those heart burns n tummy aches!

elixir unbottled

Ah these wet monsoon nights
kick me in sleep
to tumble down the cliffs

I wake up
in one of those
favourite spots in life

Its still red and green here
the golden sun, clean air and all
set just the way I love it

I drink, I breathe
deep ...so deep
to refill my soul

with life..
and enough life
to get back.

conspiracy theory

wombs ought to be
the secret chambers
where nature conspires
to keep
drifting souls
tangled

enlightenment

aw..
you make me realise...
that
i dont live in me
anymore.

nemesis

LIFE - my dearest love
who I loved intensely with all my passion
possessed my soul
caressed, fiddled, then hurled it away

I seek revenge
with more LOVE -
the only weapon in my armoury
now fluid and voluptuous

It lifts me up
in the typhoons
to fatal highs
where hurt souls lay stuck

finger dance

I stretched out
my aching fingers
beyond the touch screen

scrolling them across
your hairy chest
to touch your heart again
feels like heaven...

careful

The pitcher of silence between us
is heavy and frothing.

Take care not to spill.

let me be

just be there
when the girl in me
curls up
in pains unknown.

dont question

just be there
hold me tight
close to you
and whisper
its OK
to be ME
and then
let me GO

ill be fine.

challenge

certain things
in life
get dumped at corners
petty and worthless

dare dig up?
beware
moulds and toxins
they emit
can kill you
before death

memories, for instance

The Route

Sharp rocks
may make,
watery hearts bleed

But rivers
(are destined to) flow
thankful,
for their colourless blood

(Originally Published -Poetry Chain -July-Sept 2001 Issue)

Soulful

embers of soul
farther I threw
nearer it fell;
searing through
my skin and flesh.

finally, i left them there

when winter bites
i blow them slowly
to a bonfire

far off

its been arid
for ages here -
cool showers scald

the air too stale -
scent of blooming flowers
nauseate

nights so thick
silence so deep -
candle lights and melodies
infuriate

life flows here too...

black magic unplugged

You took me
as a frog in the pond
oblivious of world outside

well sweet heart,
you missed the nail on my head !
the witch in me
had pinned down
while tying myself
to the tree - you

it was a magic spell
not a death knell
for a wandering spirit
to remain sane
in an earthly life.

my outside world
is brighter than yours
love, lust, passion...
it's plain ecstasy

Now unplugged
it doesn’t bleed anymore
the (black) magic spell is broken
the frog has jumped out

And you know...
the witch in me
never had any logic.

Habits die hard

If Im ever asked
Whats the best thing
I did to my life..?
It can only be
Not doing the things
I wanted the most
and still want...



At 40 - thats quite a realisation !!

Watched Ijaazat, my all time favourite movie after a gap of a few years and loved it more than ever. This 1980s movie and its songs has been my habit for quite a long time, right from my high school days when I watched it first on DD.

Perhaps now Im getting to understand that what overwhelms me increasingly is a tryst with myself in those 130+ minutes.

Maya once, later Sudha. Now... its both the Maya and Sudha within. Feeling reassured that they both are very much in me -live and kicking.